A Mommy Clique?… Are you kidding Me?
While waiting anxiously for the arrival of my twins, I stumbled upon a magazine article about “The Mommy Clique” and it has stayed with me for years. I could not believe or actually just refused to believe that “mommy cliques” actually existed.
Didn’t we leave cliques in high school? Little did I know, that a few short months later, I would walk smack into the ridiculous points this magazine presented.
My boys were about two months old when I decided to venture to a park in a neighboring (very affluent – though this is not an indication of cliquishness, but does pertain to the story) town. I parked the twins under a tree in their double seat infant stroller and proceeded to watch my near two-year old explore the sand and new playground structures. Let the fun begin…
Moments later a very well dressed Mom (who wears heels to the park?) passed by, and I said “hello”. I’ll admit I was desperate for some adult contact. She looked at me, did not respond, and walked about 15 feet away. I rationalized that she didn’t hear me, while quickly checking to make sure I had buttoned my blouse after nursing and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. More mother’s joined the first mom, each one cooing over their child’s and mother’s outfits (apparently many mothers get dressed for the park).
A few moments later, I overheard (as I was meant to), that “someone was sitting under their tree”. Since there is only one tree in this park, I was pretty sure they were talking about me.
The loudest member of the mommy group arrived and commented as well about the tree, but, then she continued to walk over towards me. Great I thought, finally a friendly mom, coming over to include me in the group (NOT! ~sometimes my thinking is oh so flawed). The only thing that brought this mom and several other moms over to talk to me was the novelty of the twins in the carriage. Moms love a baby, and well you really can’t resist when there are two babies.
They “ooed” and “ahhed” as most do, and then proceeded to quiz me on the “label” on their blankets and the make of the carriage. Since I didn’t have answers to either question, I mumbled an “I don’t know”. Thankfully they did not wake the babies and within minutes walked away without so much as a hello, an introduction, or even an invitation to join them (silly me, did I think that I was dealing with grown-ups?). The mommy clique did however size me up from head to toe and based on the laughter upon returning to their group, I’m surmising that I did not pass muster.
I held my ground under that tree as long as my children would last. I watched the clique ignore their kids, laugh like phonies, and every now and then glance in my direction to see if I would move. The magazine article was correct there are moms who never outgrow the cliquishness of high school and perhaps will raise the future “most populars”. Thankfully this group of Moms is definitely in the minority, as I would go on to find wonderful motherhood friends and park acquaintances.
I do wonder however, what if all cliques dissolved as soon as you entered the sorority of motherhood. We may not all agree with each other’s mothering but you can be sure we could be the most powerful, influential, inclusive, group alive. I’d love to hear if you’d like to join my all-inclusive clique!
copyright LB Living Better, 2013